Dream Weaver, I believe you can get me through the night

I’m a firm believer that artsy projects you see on Etsy, Pinterest, fancy blogs, wherever: you can make those. In fact, half the fun of the project is figuring out how they made it. There is no shortage of tutorials online for anything you want to tackle, the weirder the better.

I’ve been inspired lately by these:

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I’m picturing my entire house transformed into a giant 70’s yarn womb with tapestries everywhere. I’m lounging in a gold jumpsuit that I look totally not pregnant in. Peter Gabriel just walked in with a plate zucchini muffins and a secret never-released Genesis EP. The fog machine is roaring and it’s not giving me asthma.

I started by weaving some stuff on a cardboard cutout loom I made using this tutorial. I thought I’d make a huge crazy rug, but who has the patience for that? Instead I wove a couple of things, mostly too tight, that accidentally turned into their cool own invention: crazy fabric bowls.

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Pretty cute! We have them thrown around the house for decoration. My husband likes to toss his keys and glasses in one when he gets home from work. They’d also be cute for little accessories or maybe a place to fold up and stow your gold bikini when Peter Gabriel leaves your house to go buy you white lilies.

“Making a loom” means cutting a biggish circle out of cardboard, then cutting slits into it, laying down some yarn as a base, and then doing the over-under thing for a while. (The tutorial I linked to above does a pretty thorough job, so I won’t repeat it here.)

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A tighter weave will make it curl up into a basket, a looser weave will give you a flat piece to hang on the wall or use as a hot plate for casseroles, if that’s what you’re into.

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Go weave something! The whole project from start to finish takes one viewing of Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. Or the viewing of one very intellectual documentary about Enron/ Monsanto/ Apocalyptic anti-vaccine kale smoothies that’s in French and stars Gwyneth Paltrow teaching us all how to eat more healthy fats. (But remember, you’re already being productive by making a thing, so you get a free pass for the shittiest possible tv offerings).

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